Power to the people, by the people. – EKSTEEN BLABBER

Power to the people, by the people.

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For years now I have been contemplating the worldwide energy problem.

OK, let’s be honest here for a second. I have been reading articles written by people who were contemplating the worldwide energy problem.

On the one hand we are slowly but surely running out of fossil fuels like coal and oil. On the other hand – and this is the bit that concerns me most – we are fast running out of money to afford to pay OPEC for their oil.

For the past eight months I have been convinced that Angola has worse electricity problems than South Africa, but I am beginning to change my mind. From reports back home it would seem that things are spiralling out of control.

And then the answer hit me: NATURAL ENERGY! It is in abundance all around us and all we need is some simple, yet ingenious technology to harness it. Who needs Eskom when the answer is right here under our noses?

Allow me to give you four perfectly good examples.

Wave power
With all the electrical, political, economical and other problems hitting our country on a regular basis, I sense that collectively we are experiencing wave after wave of despondency sweeping through the nation.

It is a well-known fact that the movement of the ocean’s waves is a consistent, non-stop supply of energy and a number of countries are already trying to utilise this source.

Now all we need is for some clever psychological engineer – do they exist? No? Train them! – to develop a method for us to harness the emotional tsunamis hitting us day after day.

The ‘wave after wave” of passion often coming from bedrooms or the backseats of cars may be even more powerful, but I guess privacy problems will put a stop to this idea.

Pedal power
It seems that every second person I speak to these days has joined a gym. Here’s the interesting thing: they are not going there to do circuit training. Nor do they do aerobics – it is SO nineties, dahling! No, the “in” thing these days is spinning. Yes, the act of sitting on an imitation bicycle and peddling your way to nowhere for half an hour or more.

I cannot for the life of me understand why this is so popular. If you really want to go cycling, why not buy yourself a real bicycle and get out there in the fresh air, man! (Just watch out for those crazy taxis sharing the road with you.)

While it lasts, though, put all this spinning to good use, I say. Connect dynamos to these imitation bikes and voila! Thousands of people are generating power to heat up my water for my early morning shower.

I do understand that this may be a short-lived supply, but at least during January every year there are lots of nutters attempting to live up to their new year’s resolutions.

Gas power
Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re thinking. But the gas I am talking about is not the type that gets pumped up from the deep bowels of the earth. What I am talking about is there for the taking – it is abundant and it is free.

Have you ever been to parliament or watched parliamentary debates on TV? Have you heard politicians being interviewed? Corporate leaders informing us how they are fighting for the consumer? Al Gore and a myriad of organisational spokespersons going on and on about global warming and how we should “act now” to prevent future disasters?

Do you get my drift? There is so much hot air being released into the atmosphere every minute of the day, I am sure it has enough energy-producing capability to provide power to keep most industries going for many hours a day.

Now, if we can only find an easy way to capture this energy source and store it in high pressure tanks, many of our problems will be solved.

Solar power
OK, you don’t have to tell me. I know solar power has been around for a number of years now and maybe it will be more affordable in the not too distant future.

What does concern me though is that solar power depends on the sun actually shining, the longer the better. In some places on earth this poses a problem, since overcast conditions are the order of the day for most of the year.

I do, however, have a solution that is not dependent on the sun to generate energy.

I know a lot of people – and I am sure you do too – who seem to believe that they are Mr or Ms know-it-all. They do such a brilliant job in their companies or environments, corporations and communities would not survive without their contributions. You know the type? These are the individuals who are commonly referred to as the ones “who think the sun shines out of their asses.”

Well, why don’t we utilise this characteristic? Let them all drop their pants and stand with their backsides facing solar panels while discussing their own good traits with one another. Can you see the picture? A 24-hour supply of natural light, whether the sun is actually shining or not.

So there you are. A simple solution to a simple problem

Just a word of warning: If you steal any of my ideas and actually implement it, I demand my share of the royalties.

Fair is fair!

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